What Is My Purpose?
What is my purpose? I’ve asked this question many times in my 37 years of life. And if you’ve spent any time in this world, you’ve probably asked a similar question — although you may not have used those exact words. Your question may have sounded more like, Why am I here? or What is the meaning of life? Or if you’re like me, maybe it sounded a little something like, AHHHHHHHHH!!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW!? I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF!!!
Yeah. If you’ve never had one of those moments, good for you. Please write to me and tell me your secret, because I seem to have moments like this every couple of years.
The Need To Understand
Beginning around the age of two or three, humans begin asking the very deep and existential question, WHY? It’s cute at first, but by the time a kid is on his 117th “Why?” in a single hour, anyone would just be making up random things and calling it good. It’s okay — we’ve all done it. But this curiosity is not only reserved for toddlers. We take it with us into adulthood too.
Storytime…
So I’ve got tattoos — just a little ink. I don’t have a full sleeve of detailed art or anything, but I’ve got a few tattoos.
Recently, someone asked me a question that I’m asked quite often. She had caught a glimpse of one of my tattoos and excitedly said, “Oooh! Tell me the story behind the elephant tattoo. Why’d you get that one?”
As she looked at me with wide eyes, anticipating my inspirational story about how some life-altering moment affected me so deeply that I decided to memorialize it on my body, I smiled and said, “There’s not really a story. I just love elephants; they’re my favorite animal.”
This poor lady was so disappointed in my answer that you would have thought I told her she would never see the sun again. I mean, her face fell so far that her shoulders even slumped a little. I felt like I’d just dashed all her hopes and dreams for the future — and those of her grandchildren and great-grandchildren to come.
So naturally, I started rambling. “Well, you know…elephants. They’re super smart, and they travel in packs.” And here’s where I started to panic a little — “I feel like I’m like an elephant. I’m…super smart…. I travel…in…packs?” I winced.
Guys, I really tried to give her what she wanted — some profound story behind why I decided to permanently display a watercolor elephant splashing through a puddle on my leg. I tried to come up with something that would be good enough to appease her curiosity and her desire to get to know me better, but the reality is, I just love elephants. They’re my favorite animal, and that’s all there is to it.
It gets worse. Then she noticed the treble and bass clefs tattooed on each of my wrists and asked, “What about those? What’s the story behind the music tattoos?”
“Well,” I began. “There is no story. I’m a musician; I — I just love music.” I shrugged.
“Oh,” she said, clearly disappointed in my lack of meaningful reasons for allowing a stranger to take a mechanized needle-pen to my skin. “What about that tattoo? Is that Peter Pan I see? You must be a real dreamer!”
I looked away awkwardly and through nervous laughter said, “Sorry to disappoint you. There’s no story there either, actually. Peter Pan is just my favorite book.” Needless to say, she didn’t ask me about the book tattoo on my shoulder. And boy, was I grateful! I didn’t know how to break it to her that the only reason I got that tattoo was because…I love books. What can I say? I love stuff!
From childhood to adulthood, humans carry an insatiable desire to either assign or understand the purpose of just about everything. I’ve given you some cute, silly examples of this desire, but as you’ve journeyed through life, you’ve probably experienced it in more emotionally complex ways as well.
One such way could be when a loved one passes. Losing a loved one is one of the hardest, heaviest things anyone can experience. And in an attempt to bring some level of comfort, the people around you might have said something like, “God just needed another angel in Heaven,” [Never mind the fact that there is absolutely no mention of this in Scripture. But that’s an article for another time.] or the famous, “Everything happens for a reason,” as if you’re supposed to find some way to be grateful that tragedy struck. Many times, people’s knee-jerk reaction when trying to comfort a grieving friend is to try to explain why things happened the way they did and give the friend some kind of purpose to hold on to.
The human need to identify purpose is very real. When we see or experience something we don’t understand, we either look for its purpose or ascribe to it our own idea of what we think its purpose should be. Sometimes this is harmless — like when you buy a spoon rest so you don’t get your stovetop dirty and then when you’re 36 years old you see a viral video on social media that explains how pot handles were originally designed with holes in them to hold spoons for you. Embarrassing? Obviously. But still harmless.
However, when you’re feeling lost and purposeless, attempting to define your own purpose (or letting someone define it for you) can be harmful. So what do we do? Let’s start with where to look.
Looking in All the Wrong Places
As someone with lofty goals of being a full-time professional author, editor, and coach, I read a lot of books and attend many conferences and seminars on leadership. I also spend a good amount of time investing in and developing the characteristics and skills that make me a good mentor and coach. But is that my purpose?
Something fun I like to say about myself is, I can teach anyone anything, and I really do believe that! There’s just something in me that loves to teach; I love seeing the light bulb turn on for people when something new finally clicks. Whether I’m giving piano lessons or talking to a room full of second graders about how to manage their thoughts, I’m in my element. But is that my purpose?
I also write children’s books. My most recent release is called Sometimes I Imagine, and you can order your copy at kaleaellison.com/buyfromme (shameless plug). I really enjoy taking what seems like a complex concept and breaking it down into bite-sized pieces for children to easily digest. And you know what? I’m good at it! But is that my purpose?
As you now know, I love music (see tattoo story above)! I love various styles of music. I enjoy listening to, writing, playing, and analyzing music. I’ve even consulted on other artists’ songs to help them take their music to the next level. Like, I really love music! But is that my purpose?
There’s nothing wrong with getting some level of fulfillment from doing things that we enjoy or from being energized by utilizing our skills. You were created with certain gifts and abilities, so it’s only natural that you would thrive in those spaces. The problem is that people, circumstances, and cultures change, so our purpose can’t be rooted in that.
What happens to the person who has been chasing his dream of becoming a professional athlete but suddenly experiences a career-ending injury — has he lost his purpose? What about the young woman who has worked her whole young-adult life to start her therapy practice and then suddenly finds out she and her husband are expecting their first child — has she lost her purpose? What happens to the bookstore owner whose business fails due to a rise in online shopping — has he lost his purpose?
I think sometimes we mistakenly look at the things we enjoy, the skills we have, or the career path we’ve chosen as indicators of what our purpose is. But let me tell you, you are meant for much more than just a special skill or an enjoyable hobby. You were made for a purpose, and I’m going to help you learn what that purpose is.
To Be or Not To Be?
Who’s ready for a short Spanish lesson!? Well, ready or not, here it comes!
Just like in English, the Spanish language has verbs, which are action words. But one thing I absolutely love about Spanish is that it makes the distinction between the two different words for “to be.”
The first word we’ll discuss is estar. You would use this to describe temporary qualities and situations. For instance, “I am dancing.” When you say this, you’re not notifying everyone that you are the literal embodiment of dance itself. No. You’re letting someone know what you are doing for a little while. You would say, “Yo estoy bailando.”
The second Spanish word for “to be” is ser. This word is used for permanent qualities and situations, and it is changed up a bit (or conjugated), depending on who or what is doing the “being.” For instance, to say, “You are an adult,” you would say, “Tu eres un adulto.”
The Spanish language makes it beautifully easy to tell the difference between something you are and something you are doing.
Now that you’re officially bilingual, let’s look at Ephesians 5:1 (NLT):
Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ.
If you were translating this verse into Spanish, which “to be” verb would you use here for “you are”? Would it be ser (permanent) or estar (temporary)? (HINT: It’s permanent.) You got it — it’s ser! See? I told you I could teach anyone anything. But I digress…there are a lot of instructions in Ephesians 5:1 as well as in the verses that follow it. There are plenty of things that we’re told to do in the book of Ephesians, and alongside the instructions Paul listed in verse one, there is also an indication of what our purpose is. Can you see it? It’s easy to miss if you’re not looking for it! It says, “…You are his dear children.” There’s your purpose. Before you do anything, you are a dear child of God. The rest is your assignment.
Purpose Versus Assignment
I’ve found that there is a difference between a person’s purpose and his or her assignment. It seems like these terms could be used interchangeably — and they sometimes are — but for the purpose of this article (see what I did there?) I want to make a distinction between the two.
The difference between these two words comes down to this: your purpose tells of your significance, and your assignment tells you what to do. God even made this distinction in the Garden of Eden when He created man. Let’s take a look at Genesis 1:26 (NLT):
Then God said, ‘Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.’
It’s easy to see the task God assigned to Adam and Eve and mistake it for their purpose. God said He wanted Adam and Eve to reign over the various animals on the earth. He also told them to “be fruitful and multiply” (see v. 28). But you may have overlooked the little phrase tagged at the end of the first sentence in verse 26: “…Let us make human beings…to be like us.”
God’s original purpose for mankind was for us to be like Him. Your significance — the reason you exist — is to be like God. And according to Ephesians 5:1, another reason you exist is to be His dear child. You also exist to be known by Him (see Galatians 4:9) and to be a temple for the living God to dwell in (see 2 Corinthians 6:16). The list goes on and on.
You exist to be close to God. Intimacy with God is your purpose.
Okay, So What’s My Assignment!?
The short answer? I have no idea! Don’t ask me…I’m still trying to figure out my own stuff.
The long-ish answer? Certain elements of your assignment are permanent and others will change as your life changes. Those permanent assignments are mentioned in some of the verses we’ve talked about today. For example, Ephesians 5:1 instructs us to imitate God in everything we do, to live a life filled with love, and to follow the example of Christ. That will never change because it is a biblical standard set by God for Christians everywhere for all time.
But what about the things that do change? The easiest way to illustrate this is to consider parenthood. Before anyone becomes a parent, parenthood is not part of his or her assignment, because there’s no one to raise. But as soon as a child is conceived, there are certain lifestyle changes and responsibilities that are suddenly thrust upon that parent. The assignment has changed because life has changed.
Unfortunately, life isn’t always so easy to interpret, is it? Sometimes we stumble around in the dark before we figure out what is expected of us in any given season. But here’s the good news: We don’t have to stumble around in the dark. In fact, that was never part of God’s plan to begin with.
If you have made Jesus the Lord of your life, you’ve been given the amazing, precious Holy Spirit who lives within you. Jesus said His Holy Spirit would lead and guide you and show you things to come (see John 16:13). The Bible also says that His Spirit reveals God’s will to you and helps you pray (see Romans 8:26). First Corinthians 2:11-13 says that the Holy Spirit even teaches you to interpret spiritual truths.
The apostle Paul prayed this for the church in Ephesus:
I do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. [For I always pray to] the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, that He may grant you a spirit of wisdom and revelation [of insight into mysteries and secrets] in the [deep and intimate] knowledge of Him, by having the eyes of your heart flooded with light, so that you can know and understand the hope to which He has called you, and how rich is His glorious inheritance in the saints (His set-apart ones).
— Ephesians 1:16-18 (AMPC)
We have been given an amazing gift! The Holy Spirit — the third person of the Godhead — has taken up residence in our hearts, and He is waiting to reveal mysteries and secrets to you. He wants to flood the eyes of your heart with light.
Your assignment will change as the seasons of your life change, but your purpose will never change. You are of infinite value to God. So valuable, in fact, that He wants to spend every waking moment with you. So here’s the thing — don’t get hung up on your assignment. If you focus on your purpose — intimacy with God — you’ll be so close to Him that when He issues your next assignment, you’ll know exactly what it is and what to do.
— kalea
